Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Bringing back truth

After wind forecasts stated that there would be no wind for days, I decided to pack up the trailer and move on closer to home. My uncle Tom, his girlfriend Rene, Grandpa and wife Jane are in Kiawah Island off the SC coast. So we are hanging out here for a few days catching up and simply relaxing. I was ready for a change of scenery anyway. I meet some very great people and picked up some new music in Cape Hatteras. I look forward to the next trip up there, but don't know when it will be. We slept at a rest stop last night and got about 5 hours of rough sleep. I am begining to miss home again and the girls as well as friends and family. It has been a good 3 months on the road and we are lucky enough to have more opportunities to travel throughout the Fall and into the new year. It is just so nice to be able to take advantage of such opportunities in life.

I don't really consider what I am on a vacation though. Some would beg to differ, I am considering this time on the road a soul seeking journey. Some will question what I am learning and what i am seeking and to be honest, I am not ready to put it into words or do not know if I can put it into words. I am not sure others quite understand what i am doing since they are not living in my skin. I am not sure if others can really relate to me as much as I had hoped. I guess this is somewhat normal. To each their own. Aren't we all caught up in our own lives anyway? Isn't it really impossible for others to truely connect with what each of us has going on internally. I mean we can sympathize with others, but the conversations that each one of us has in our heads, are completely ours and alot of times we can't even express them. Even if we did, I don't think others would "get it." because it is so hard for others to step out of their own drama or story or trip. Am I wrong here. It kind of goes back to what I was saying a while back about listening. Most of the time, not always, we only hear a certain percentage of what others are saying because we are thinking of what we want to respond with or we are caught in our own thoughts. not that all of this is what you want to be reading, but it is true.

So I am learning to not have expectations of support from friends with my challenges on the road. I am learning to not have expectations period from others when what I am doing is so vastly different than what 99% of my friends are faced with. i have no kids (humans), am not married, low debt, low house payment, not divorced (would have been though), no job, a girlfriend that wants to pay our bills allowing me to go after dreams, etc..........I mean, who the hell has this going for them. No one I know. So why should I expect those that can't do this to be all jazzed about this new sport I am progressing at or my 3 month trip around the US and Central America, or anything I am doing. To be honest, I wish that it would come from a few folks, but only if it is a real excitment about it all. I guess that is part of this journey, realizing that it is MY journey and not anyone elses. It is for me to enjoy and for me to take in and for me to share with those that want to ask questions. It is what I am doing with my life right now. it is for me and my lovely lady to watch grow, possibly into something that continues on into the future on the road, not in Atlanta. It is my journey. Like I said, so many of us, all of us are so involved in our own little world that we sometimes forget to realize that so is everyone else, including the lady sitting next to you at the red light, or that person walking across the street. We sometimes think that our lives are so large and big and important that we forget about our neighbors and those that live next door. If I have learned anything while on the road, is that this wonderful sport that I am getting into has a solid knit community that looks out for one another. We are all so excited to be learning this young yet established sport. We know that it takes a community of supporters and that is what I have run into during these last days of traveling. I like that, I actually love that, because it is not something I got from my best friends back home. How could they though, it is not what they are doing or are involved in or interested in or focusing on. They have kids and jobs and wives and responsibilities that will not allow it to this degree like I am doing. So...........wheew, it is nice to write and let out some feelings.

To be honest, I am feeling as though I am not connecting with some of my best friends in the world. It is tough to head in one direction and not to have those you really want around you there. it is difficult to go out and not have some supporters around. It would be nice to be able to shoot the shit with your boys around a fire after a long day of kiteboarding, not the boys you just met, but the guys you grew up with. I guess as I progress, so will they if they want to learn.

So............Community, love, peace of mind, natural high's, smiles, the ocean and wind, good vibes, all fill my soul right now. I am looking forward to passing on some of the love I have received recently. Life is great and I couldn't be happier to have the opportunities I have right now. I hope it lasts a lifetime, I think it could with careful decision making and the right community.