Sunday, April 19, 2009

It is all about LIVING

Life is so precious. It seems sometimes that we are all so caught up in consumerism, focus on money, profits, and more more more that we tend to forget that the sun is shining and the flowers are blooming or that the birds are singing and the waves are continuing to crash on the shore. Atleast, this is what I have caught myself doing. I am so thankful for all of the goodness that the universe has brought into my life.

I am focusing on really living life. It is a new way of looking at things. For so long I have been caught up in the mindst of "If I only work and save money, I will some day be able to retire." or "If I go to school and study blah blah blah, I will get a good job and make some good money and buy a nice house and drive a nice car and sit in traffic EVERY morning and evening alongside of alot of people that are doing the same."..........Well, I have never been the same as everyone else. I ahve always stood a little further away from the crowd or have always done things just a bit differently. Now that I am 33, been engaged twice (What a trip those two relationships were), quite drinking alcohol and quite smoking, started working out daily, well......I think I am ready to begin to live for me finally. I mean that I am ready to start making decisions based off of what is best for ME and the situation I am in NOW. I am so tired of living and making decisions based off of my past or what has been said to me in the past. I guess you can say I am begining to live MY life, not my parents life, not my friends life, but Andrew Hickman's life. It is so easy to get caught up in judging ourselves, questioning ourselves, limiting ourselves, and over time, becoming quite selfish and only thinking of ourselves.

I am tired of judging myself, my decisions, and my way of thinking. So...It is all about living life fully aware of who we are involved with and what we are truely out to give in order to get a well balanced life. That is my journey, each day I get closer and closer. Now I need to focus on being at peace with all of what I just wrote, OUT, Andy