Being a Man

I keep coming back to the way we have learned to communicate, mainly men. So many of us hold our feelings in and have been taught to not cry or to only laugh or to only say nice things or to not express hurt or sorrow or to be sensitive to others but not to come across as being sensitive. Another matter is being "emotional" or allowing others to see your emotions. Why is it that we teach our children to not cry when they fall down and hurt themselves? To be tough little kids. Why is it OK for us to force it on them that crying is something they should not do? When a child falls down and cries, it is usually because they feel pain. This is actually just one part of what I am thinking about, so don't get all caught up in the child crying part. I have traveled all across this country and have run into a lot of situations where I needed help. Maybe it was due to being lost, injured, inexperienced, or whatever....In many ways we are taught to not ask for help and to toughen up...or that we can handle it ourselves....Well life is not all about learning it on our own, it is not about being tough, it is not about not asking for help from others. Is life not about building a community of friends and supporting others and showing love and understanding rather than passing judgement? Is the goal not to surround ourselves with community that is supportive and loving and willing to help when needed. Is it not about community? Or am I being too sensitive here. I guess this entry is mainly about what I have experienced among men lately and in my past. It is so normal for men to have this ego about themselves that makes them feel the need to assert their opinions no matter what or to be number one or to be tough and "manly" and to not have a sensitive side or to not make decisions based on emotions in certain situations. What the hell is wrong with feeling emotions and letting others know how you feel. Is it that we have labeled what a man should be like and what a woman should be like. What about simply being human and knowing that humans have emotions and feelings and that it is OK to completely feel and express ourselves. Not that I am all emotional now and upset about this, but it is something I think about and ponder as I watch shildren play and listen to others talk to one another or as I am learning a very tough extreme sport that requires alot of support. It is so nice to be involved in a sport that is so tough to learn. there is something about messing up and needing to ask for help and possibly rescue. Everyone who gets into kiteboarding will undoubtedly get beat down and have accidents and then share their experiences with others as they progress. I think I have mentioned it before, but it is refreshing to be surrounded by a community that is supportive of one another and that knows how tough it is to learn and willing to extend a hand to others. It is a pleasure to ask for help or to admit ignorance and to not be surrounded by "tough guys." In this sport, it is tough to not ask for help or to not get hurt and express pain. It is teaching me a lesson in sensitivity to others needs. No one would ever call me "too sensitive" when I am at a beach and I just got the shit kicked out of me by winds blowing 25-30 mph while being over powered on a 12m kite in the ocean. I guess it is teaching me some life lessons that I wish more men would obtain in their lives. The ability to be sensitive to others and to lend a hand when needed and to look for those that need help and are new to the area/sport. I have hung out with some professional riders in the past week that were so humble and willing to help or explain things or to simply talk to newbies like myself. When was the last time you were ina sport where the pro's hung out with the newbies and there was not a wall between the two? Most of the pro riders I met were woman too. Is it because they were female that they were so understanding? Is there a sensitive feminine thing here? Why is it that men have to be so agressive or competitive or to establish dominance whether it be about what they know or what they do or their status or their title or how much money they make or position they hold in a company or whatever it is that makes them feel important??? What the F#@!??? Or am I being too sensitive here again? Am I showing my feminine attributes by expressing myself? I am not all upset or anything, I am just trying to figure out why is it such an issue for a man to be sensitive or emotional? Is it a sign of weakness? This is what is really behind the matter. Don't be weak or else others will take advantage of you. Don't be weak, your a man. Don't show your sensitive side or the fact that you are upset about something that was said to you. Of course there will always be others that will judge you for how you express yourself if it differs from theirs. I guess it just goes back to men just wanting to dominate others, whether it be in conversation or any number of areas. Being a man myself, sensitive or not, I wonder what the world would be like if woman were the main decision makers. In Latin America it is mainly the woman who run the countries behind the scenes....I uess we could add race into this arena but that would change the whole conversation. You don't see woman out in the world starting wars, committing genocide.....I would love to be able to see what the world would be like if woman were the main decision makers. There are many men that will go ahead and assume what it would be like based off of their masculine life experience. So this is what I stand for today, not that I must express this in order to feel better about myself, but this is what I stand for today and will continue to stand for. I guess it kind of hurts when another man says that I am too sensitive. Oh well, so be it, take it or leave it. What's wrong with that anyway, maybe I am just too human and willing to express my emotions, unlike so many. This is just another part of this journey I am on....